Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Wedding’

There was only one whiff of scandal.

June 2nd, 2009

Good morning crew,

I wish I had some exciting news to tell you about the wedding
on Friday night, but everything went off without a hitch.

Steve confessed to me after the fact that he ALMOST cried
twice, but he was able to man up at the last second. It was
very emotional. They are all into each other like teenagers.

The reception was fun, though. Being a member of the wedding
party I felt obliged to stay half-sober and not embarrass
myself or anybody else, but I did spend a lot of time on the
dance floor (I might have been better off drinking considering
I was trying to keep from embarrassing myself).

There was only one whiff of scandal. I think I got hit on by
a married woman…but I’m too much of a gentleman to give
details. Suffice it to say I handled it with tact and aplomb,
but old Joe was definitely popular with the ladies that night!

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

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***

“Burger King is adding a new kids’ meal that’s lower in fat,
sodium and calories. It’s called the ‘I Don’t Want That.’”
–Jimmy Fallon

***

“The New Kids on the Block announced that they will be
appearing on a cruise ship. A cruise ship spokesman said,
‘What can we say? Good waiters are hard to find.’”
-Conan O’Brien

***

“According to Blender magazine, the average person spends
three years of their life in the bathroom. Do you know what’s
really pathetic? If it turned out those were the best years
of your life.” -Jay Leno

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———————————————————————————————–

She had been thinking about coloring her hair. One day while
going through a magazine, she came across an ad for a hair
coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair
a shade that she liked.

Wanting a second opinion, she asked her husband, “How do you
think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles?”

He looked at the picture, crumbled it up, straightened it
out and studied it again. “Just great, hon.”

*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*

Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter
hit with all its fury. “I wonder if the car has seat warmers,”
Ruth wondered.

“It sure does,” said Sam, looking through the owner’s manual.
“Here it is…rear defrosters.”