Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Vacation’

Why is fun always so expensive?

July 30th, 2009

Good morning crew,

Other than being mocked by the weather the entire time we
were there we actually had a very nice time in Lake Geneva.
It’s a very small town and other than the residential areas
the entire life of the town is centered around the lake, as
you might imagine.

I was of the opinion that we should get a cheap motel out-
side of town and just walk or drive the few minutes it would
take to get to the heart of the action, but my girlfriend,
who was masterminding the expedition, insisted that we get
a luxury room right off the lake.

And luxury room was right. This was not a hotel room, this
was an apartment that was professionally cleaned every day.
It boasted a full kitchen and dining room and a separate
bedroom suite. The bathroom even had a whirlpool tub while
the balcony featured a grand view of “Joe’s Chicago Pizza”
across the street.

And we paid for it, too. You’d think we were in Tahiti for
the coin we shelled out for that room. The real advantage,
though, was the location. We were in the middle of the
“downtown” area, such as it was, and could walk in ten
minutes to every single attraction Lake Geneva has to offer.

And what Lake Geneva mostly has to offer is bars and
restaurants. They have some really good eating there, too.
One of my favorite places being Popeye’s…and I’m not
talking about the chicken place.

Popeye’s is a barbecue place and a chop house, among other
things, but their distinguishing feature is a giant barbecue
pit they have built right out in the parking lot of the
place.

At first it was just going to be the two of us, but the
convenience of only being a couple hours north of Chicago
lured out a small army…mostly people from the school.
It was like a martial arts social. There ended up being
eight of us and we ate and drank about $300 worth of food
and drinks…and then we went out on the town afterward!

After giant plates full of barbecue followed by several
hours of bar hopping and dancing about half of the group
actually drove home! Fortunately I was under no such
pressure. Plus, there were still plenty of stupid things
to do!

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

Amazing Hanger by Handy Trends
The Solution To Any Crowded Closet…

List Price: $19.99
YOUR PRICE: $9.99
Get Two Sets of 10 for $15.98

Quickly organize and increase the space in your closet with
durable Amazing Hangers. They work with almost any kind of
hanger you already have, and even hold belts and ties.

FEATURES:
- Durable plastic holds up to 20 pounds
- Holds up to 5 hangers at once
- Can be used with wire, wooden, and plastic hangers

Get one set of 10 for $9.99 or two sets (20 Amazing Hangers
in total) for $15.98. Visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14512/c/120/a/%%merge lists_.nalt3_%%
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14512/c/120/a/%%merge lists_.nalt3_%%”>
Amazing Hangers – The Solution To Any Crowded Closet…</a>

***

I bought a great new toilet seat recently. On the label was
a suggestion on how to clean it. Although nice to have the
option, I doubt I’ll take advantage of it. My toilet seat,
it seems, is “Dishwasher Safe.”

***

My in-laws gave us a beautiful knife set–top quality. The
accompanying cutting board, however, was a different story.
On the wrapping around it was printed this warning: “Opening
with sharp object may damage this product.”

***

I prefer to describe myself as a “Contemporary Anthropological
Interactive Observer” because it has just the right amount
of flair. Besides….”stalker” is such an ugly word.

—————————————————————————————
Handy Can-Opener
Open Cans Safely In Seconds…

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $12.99
Get two for $19.98

Your going to love the Handy Can-Opener. It really doesn’t
get easier than this… Just push ONE button. It’s safe, easy
and hygienic, and takes only seconds to operate.

The cutting blade is safely recessed to avoid accidental cuts
and there are no other sharp edges on the unit. It easily
glides and smoothes the edges on the can as an extra safety
feature. When the can is done automatically opening, the
powerful magnet inside the unit lifts the lid.

FEATURES:
- Fully-Automatic Process
- Only One Button, and Manual Release Dial
- Cutting Blade Safely Recessed in Unit
- Easily Glides and Smoothes Can Edges
- Magnet Lifts and Holds Lid
- Cordless
- Takes 2 “AA” (Not Included)

The Handy Can-Opener is the easiest one you’ll ever use. Pick
one up for $12.99 or save an additional $6.00 and get two for
$19.98!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14515/c/120/a/%%merge lists_.nalt3_%%
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14515/c/120/a/%%merge lists_.nalt3_%%”>
Handy Can-Opener – Open Cans Safely In Seconds…</a>
—————————————————————————————

Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat
together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel
operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen
in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his
wife, “Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having
a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and
dock it.”

So she drove the boat to shore.

Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where
her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him,
switched the TV channel, and said to him, “Please go into the
kitchen, dear. Pretend I’m having a heart attack and set the
table, cook dinner and wash the dishes.”

*——————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————*

A lawyer walks into his client’s death row cell and says,
“I’ve got good news, and bad news for you.. ” The prisoner
says. ” Okay. What’s the bad news? ” “The bad news is that
the Governor won’t issue a stay of your execution…you go
to the chair at 7 PM tonight.” “Oh, that’s horrible. What
possibly could be the good news?”

“The good news is that I got your voltage reduced!”