Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘this’

Boy, did I luck out this weekend.

August 5th, 2008

Good morning crew,

Boy, did I luck out this weekend. I had a date on Sunday
(because I was sailing on Saturday) and I just happened to
notice in my town’s local newspaper that an event called
Concert Under The Stars was happening that very night not
two miles from my apartment!

It’s something the town does every year. Franz Bentler and
the Royal Strings Orchestra perform a three hour concert
under a huge tent and sample everything from classic numbers
such as Brahms and Strauss to show tunes and even boogie
woogie and some golden oldies.

And just to keep it fresh and exciting we took the motor-
cycle, too. And the best part…it was free.

The whole night cost me about fifteen bucks in drinks, and
to put it mildly she was tickled pink. I won’t go into what
happened afterward, but let me just say the night wasn’t
over after the concert.

Laugh it up,

Joe
***
DuPONT SELF-CHARGING SMOKE ALARM

Normal Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99

The DuPont Self-Charging Smoke Alarm is charged by the home’s
electricity, screwing directly into ceiling-mounted light
sockets and track lights without lampshades.

Here’s a convenient and smart way to insure your family and
home’s safety. Screw this unique smoke alarm into an uncovered
ceiling light socket, then screw a bulb into it if you’d like,
and you’re set: the alarm’s built-in back-up battery will now
recharge every time you turn on the light!

Full charge can last up to 30 days without the light switch
being turned on again; a full charge requires the light switch
to be on for a total of two hours (not necessarily continuously).
Alarm fits any standard-base light socket or ceiling fixture
(without a globe), and takes a maximum 60w bulb. Includes 85-db
alarm, low-battery warning signal, and test capability. No
batteries required and no messy hardwire installation. Get
one for $9.99… or get two for $17.98.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/6k4io4
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/6k4io4“>
DuPONT SELF-CHARGING SMOKE ALARM</a>
***

“More bad news for air travelers. Earlier today, U.S. Air-
ways began charging passengers on its flights for water.
Even worse, the oxygen masks are now coin-operated.”
-Conan O’Brien

***

“When I’m driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL
CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I’m
not afraid of small children.” –Jonathan Katz

***

“I fell in love once, and I thought she fell in love with me
too. Are you familiar with the situation? I sat with an en-
gagement ring, waiting for an answer. I was a single guy with
an engagement ring. It was like having a loaded gun laying
around the house. I was frightened I’d marry somebody by ac-
cident.” -Jake Johannsen

————————————————————
Set of 4 Micro Fiber Cleaning Cloths

Store Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get Two Packages (8 Cloths) for $9.98

These amazing cloth cleans dust, spills, or plain old dirt
with no soap or chemicals. It can absorb up to 7 times its
weight in liquid! Dry, this unique fiber sucks up dust like
a magnet. With a little water, it can scrub away grime or
shine glass and chrome. Each cloth measures 12 ½ X 12 ½ .

You get a set of four in assorted bright colors. Made from
durable micro-fiber you can wash them over and over again!
They are super soft to avoid scratching of fine interior
trim pieces..

Additional Benefit you can save both money and the environment…
No More Need For Paper Towels! No chemicals or cleansers are
needed for cleanups because super soft microfibers loosen and
absorb dirt.

Get one set (4 cloths) for $5.99 or get two sets (8 cloths
for $9.98. Get more details at:
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<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/2g05r6“>
Set of 4 Micro Fiber Cleaning Cloths</a>
————————————————————

Police officers in Brockton, Mass received a call regarding
an injured animal lying on a street corner. When they arrived
at the scene they found a dog that had been hit by a car. But
according to the local newspaper, the police report stated
that the dog was okay and “refused medical treatment.”

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

A very elderly gentleman, well dressed, hair well groomed,
great-looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly
of after-shave, presenting a well-looked-after image, walks
into an upscale cocktail lounge.

To his delight, seated at the bar is an elderly looking
lady. The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her,
orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her, and says, “So
tell me, do I come here often?”