Clean Laffs

Good morning crew,

Welcome to a new week, folks, and welcome to summer! In
case you didn’t notice, yesterday was the solstice. We’re
in it now.

Hopefully you had a good weekend. Once again I managed to
spend more money than I intended. Somehow it just seems to
leak out of my pockets when I’m not looking, but you can’t
have fun without spending a few drachmas. Am I right?

It’s going to be a long week for me. I’ll be pretty much
living at the gym over the next six days, so I’ll fill you
in on the weekend details tomorrow. I actually have to do
some work today so let’s get to it!

Laugh it up,

Joe

                                      ***

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Like a moth to a candle’s flame, mosquitoes, flies and other
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                                      ***

“I found myself utterly depressed the other day and spent
the entire afternoon listening to Celine Dion records…
at least that’s what I thought I was doing.  Turns out the
cat had just fallen into the dryer and was trying to get
out.” –Julian Clary

                                      ***

“He’s the kind of friend who will always be there when he
needs you.” –Adam Christing

                                      ***

“There’s an old saying - There’s No Place Like Home. Well, I
went in the house next door, and it was very, very similar.”
 –Geoffrey Parfitt

———————————————————————————————–
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———————————————————————————————–

The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on
the witness stand.

“And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband
sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage,
didn’t you feel any qualms? Didn’t you feel the slightest
pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly
unconscious of it?”

“Yes,” she answered. “Come to thik of it…there was just a
moment when I sort of felt sorry for him.”

“And, when was that?”

“When he asked for the second cup.”

*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*

Since he runs a pawnshop, I decided to ask a friend of mine
to appraise my grandfather’s violin. “Old fiddles aren’t
worth much, I’m afraid,” he explained.

“What makes it a fiddle and not a violin?” I asked.

“If you’re buying it from me, it’s a violin. If I’m buying
it from you, it’s a fiddle.”

************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
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