Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Semantics’

It’s all semantics.

August 11th, 2008

Good morning crew,

    Joe, in your last issue you asked how often you
    get to call a chick a wench? I want to know how
    often do you get by with calling them CHICKS?
     -bd

Broads usually don’t mind when I call them chicks. Why?

Laugh it up,

Joe

ROBOTIC LED BOOK LIGHT

Store Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.49 or two for $3.98

This is so cool… You can light up your book papers, lap-
top and more anywhere you go… on the plane, in a meeting
or in bed. Plus the LED light better for your eyes, reduces
eye strain.

DETAILS:
* Super bright LED light * Light opens with touch of a button
* Adjustable light angle * Portable Take with you anywhere

Get one of these for just $2.49. BONUS: Save even more when
you buy two or more, get them for just $1.99 each. This
makes a wonderful gift… and College Kids especially love
it. http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/v482t8
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/v482t8“>
Robotic Book Light</a>

***

“Scotch Tape has been designated a national historic
chemical landmark. It’s only the second time in history
something’s been designated a chemical landmark. The
first was the state of New Jersey.” -Jay Leno

***

“Police in Germany say they arrested a man in a wheel chair
for breaking into a building. They say the man would have
gotten away, but they shot out his tires.” -Conan O’Brien

***

“The U.N has evidence of global warming. And right now they
are working hard, around the clock to do nothing about it.”
–Dave Letterman

————————————————————
FINANCIAL TOOLS CDROM

Store: $19.95
OUR PRICE: $1.99

Here’s a great CDRom designed to assist you in analyzing and
making informed decisions about personal finances. This easy
to use program includes many powerful financial tools for all
users levels.

Includes an easy financial wizard to get you started. Examine
if you have the best mortgage rate and re-financing options.
Loan calculations and analysis tools. Bond calculations for
annual, semi-annual and strip bonds. Savings calculators for
a variety of “what if” and “how much?” scenrios.

There so much in this CDRom that you won’t believe it. At just
$1.99 it will be one of the best investments in your future
you can make. System Compatibility: Windows 95/98/Me/XP Get
more info or order at:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/515iv5
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/515iv5“>
Today’s Deal of the Day</a>
————————————————————

A fisherman’s wife was sitting by a tent in a clearing on
the bank of a river when along came the park ranger and said,
“Excuse me ma’am but I need to speak to your husband. Can you
tell me where he is?”

She replied, pointing to a clump of reeds. “Go over there and
look for the pole with a worm on both ends.”

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

A man who owner a local grocery store was out delivering
orders in his station wagon when he hit and injured a little,
old lady. The lady sued and was awarded an amount large
enough to drive the man out of business.

After difficult times he managed to accumulate enough to try
again. But a few months after opening his doors he struck an
old gentleman with his delivery truck. The gentleman sued
and collected big damages, enough to ruin the merchant yet
again.

On a peaceful Sunday the grocer was sitting in his living
room when his little boy entered and called out, “Father,
Father, Mother’s been run over by a great big bus.”

The grocer’s eyes filled with tears, and in a voice trembling
with emotion he cried, “Thank the Lord, my luck’s changed at
last.”