Clean Laffs

Good morning crew, 

      Joe!  I can’t believe you want Mason to go out
      on the lake with you the first day back from his
      honeymoon. Can he at least bring the wife? Love
      your column, Lynda

Actually, he called me to make sure we were going out. There
are realistically only two more weekends available to sail,
and then the boat has to come out of the water, and those
two weekends are subject to bad weather and the vagaries of
the bachelor life.

Plus, now that old Mason has a full-time boss, not to mention
the fact that I have seriously been considering buying a house
in the near future and will need every spare nickel, this may
be the last year we have this boat. If we can manage to sell
it this Fall it will be the end of an era for both of us.

Times and opportunities change. So I think we were both eager
to take advantage of what very well may have been our last
cruise on the old Albatross.

Laugh it up,

Joe 

                           ***

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                            ***

“Vice President Dick Cheney visited Saudi Arabia over the
weekend, and he’s very popular in Saudi Arabia, over there
he’s known as Lawrence of Arrhythmia.” –David Letterman

                            ***

“Here’s an interesting statistic - according to “Cosmo”,
over 30 percent of men between the ages of 18 and 34 still
live with their parents. These men are known as “Star Wars”
fans.” –Jay Leno

                            ***

“According to a national organization that studies obesity,
nine of the fattest states in America are in the lower third
of the country. In other words, geographically, America has
a fat ass.” –Conan O’Brien

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————————————————————

I’m a driving examiner for the state of Indiana, and while
I was giving a road test to a young man, he went through a
red light without stopping. I told him that he had auto-
matically failed the test. We met up with his mother back
at the office, and I explained what had happened. At first
she was speechless. Then she asked incredulously, “He ran
a red light?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Well,” persisted the mom, “how red was the light?”

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine
when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order.
I approached the bartender. “Have you ever heard of a drink
called ‘Seven Young Blondes’?” I asked. He admitted he’d
never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it
up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back
and tell the patron that he’d be happy to make the drink if
he could list the ingredients for him. “Sir,” I asked the
customer, “can you tell me what’s in that drink?”

He looked at me like I was crazy. “It’s wine,” he said,
pronouncing his words carefully, “Sauvignon blanc.”

*************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
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