Clean Laffs

Good morning crew,

It’s been four days and bilge guy hasn’t called back or
emailed. I guess he wasn’t that impressed with the boat.
Maybe the fact that I laughed at him when he asked what
the bilge was turned him off to buying.

Things are starting to get desperate. Summer is going to
be here in a couple days and I haven’t accomplished any
fun yet! And the weekends are already starting to fill up,
too. If we end up having to keep the boat another year I
don’t even know how much sailing we’re going to be able
to get in.

It would be a real shame to have that beautiful boat sitting
in a parking lot on a beautiful, breezy summer day. Hopefully
we’ll have better luck in July!

Laugh it up,

Joe

                                      ***

Store ‘N Slide Under-Bed Storage
Get Rid Of That Closet Clutter…

Normal Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99

I have way too many shoes, and they were thrown all around my room,
until now - I keep all my sneakers, flip flops, and I even keep
some of my socks in it. Since this value pack comes with 2 Store
N Slides, you can keep 24 pairs of your shoes safely hidden away
under your bed.

This durable zippered storage organizer, features a nice see-
through top for quick viewing of all your shoes. It keeps out
dust, moisture and bugs, and it’s portable and compact design
does exactly what you’d think… stores and slides right under
your bed or even your closets.

FEATURES:
* Durable and Transparent Cover Displays Shoes
* Designed to Hold 12 Pairs of Shoes
* Dividers Keep Shoes Separate and Organized
* Stores Shoes, Flip-flops, Slippers, and Socks
* Value Pack comes with 2 Store ‘N Slides and LED TouchLight

Grab a two-pack for $9.99… That’s 1/2 off the TV price. To
get more info, see a picture or order, visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14526/c/120/a/505
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14526/c/120/a/505“>
Store ‘N Slide Under-Bed Storage</a>

                                      ***

“President Obama is proposing a new national healthcare plan
that’s both inexpensive and accessible. He’s calling it Have
Your Surgery In Mexico.” –Jimmy Fallon

                                      ***

“In a recent interview, Arnold Schwarzenegger said cannabis
is not a drug. Of course, when Arnold said it, it sounded
like, ‘Cannibals need a hug.’” -Conan O’Brien

                                      ***

“Sarah Palin has accepted my apology. I was really nervous
about apologizing to her. So to get my confidence up, I re-
hearsed by apologizing to Tina Fey.” -David Letterman

———————————————————————————————–
Put Your Sewing Machine Away…
HANDY MEND IT

List Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get Two for $9.98

Permanently repair fabric tears quickly and effectively without
the need to sew! Handy Mend It is not a glue but rather a
flexible bonding agent that quickly grabs, adheres and interlocks
the fibers of fabrics. Best of all, It’s tear resistant!

Dries crystal clear and is safe on most fabrics including lace,
denim and leather. Machine washable and bonds stay strong even
after as many as 50 washes.

HUNDREDS OF USES:
- Hems Repair       - Home Decor     - Split Seam Repair       
- Furniture Repair  - Draperies      - Plush and Toy Repair 
- Create wearable art      - Crafts and Scrapbooking

Grab one tube of Handy Mend It for $5.99 or two for $9.99.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14462/c/120/a/505
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14462/c/120/a/505“>
HANDY MEND IT - Mend It… Don’t End It…</a>
———————————————————————————————–

A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong
number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of
Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme?’” she asked.

“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a
wife and nine children.”

“Is that a record?” the caller inquired, puzzled in her turn.

“I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as
I want to get.”

*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*

One night our dog suddenly began barking almost every night
at around 3 a.m.

Irritated and sleepy, my husband, Larry, searched the back
yard for what might have disturbed this otherwise peaceful
animal.

For three days he found nothing amiss. When the dog woke up
the neighborhood a fourth night at 3 a.m. with frantic
barking Larry finally snuck around the house through the
alley only to discover our quiet neighbor, the last man
you’d suspect of wrongdoing, throwing pebbles over the fence
at the dog.

My husband demanded to know what he was doing.

“My mother-in-law is visiting,” the embarrassed neighbor
explained. “If she gets woken up in the middle of the night
one more time she says she’ll leave.”

************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.