Good morning crew,

      Joe, if my date unbuckled his belt under the
      table, i think i’d walk out then and there.
      you are one disgusting slob.

      love,
      linda

Linda, no one saw me unbuckle my pants. This is what
“surreptitiously” means. Everyone did notice, however, when
I stood up and my pants fell off.

It didn’t matter anyway. We were thirty miles away from home
and I drove.

Laugh it up,

Joe

                            ***

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                            ***

“I had quite an interesting blind date this weekend. I had
only ever talked to her on the phone and was eager to meet
her in person. I was quite impressed when I finally did see
her. She was about seven and a half feet tall, flat head
and a slightly green complexion. But what really turned me
on were the bolts in her neck. What can I say, I’m into
women with piercings.” -Clean Laffs Joe

                            ***

“I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have
hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to
it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.”
 -Dwight Schrute, The Office

                            ***

“Dad’s are born without the sympathy gene. You can break your
leg, hobble into your house, and all your dad will do is look
over the paper and grumble, ‘Shake it off!’” –Robert G. Lee

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A father found his small son looking very unhappy.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

The boy said, “I can’t get along with your wife.”

*——————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————*

Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O’Hare airport in
Chicago. Along with hotel accommodations, the airline issued
each passenger a $10 meal ticket, or “chit.” That evening
after dinner I presented my meal ticket to the cashier.

“Is this chit worth $10?” I asked.

Looking up nervously, the cashier responded, “I’m sorry,
sir. Was the meal that bad?”

***********************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.