Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Painting’

Nothing like being prepared.

November 12th, 2008

Good morning crew,

So on Saturday I got talked into helping old Mason paint
the condo he’s living in with his new wife. Now here is the
thing you need to know about this condo…it has fifteen
foot ceilings and it was designed by a schizophrenic with
Attention Deficit Disorder.

There is not a straight line longer than 12 inches along
the entire ceiling. I guess it is supposed to be opulent
and deco, but what it ends up being is annoying. It’s just
hours and hours of brush-work while teetering at the top
of a ladder.

I got over there around nine-thirty in the morning to find
Mason, still in his bathrobe, brewing a pot of coffee.

“All ready to get started?” I asked.

“Mmmm hmmm.”

“What room are we going to start with?”

“That one over there,” he pointed with his nose.

I looked through the doorway. “You mean this one will all
of the furniture still in it and all of the outlet covers,
switch plates, curtain rods and lights fixtures still
attached?”

“Mmmm hmmm.”

“What have you been doing since I talked to you at eight
o’clock?”

“Making coffee.”

“For the last hour-and-a-half?”

“And watching TV.”

So we spent the next forty-five minutes moving furniture
and doing prep work. And that was the easy part. We spent
the next six hours climbing up and down ladders.

It was a very aerobic day.

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

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***

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of
happiness.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

***

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single
word of what I am saying.” -Oscar Wilde

***

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher and that
is a good thing for any man.” -Socrates

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As the shopping center’s marketing director, I was putting
the finishing touches on an ad. I asked Nancy, the news-
paper’s sales representative, how to spell “eligible.” She
wrote it down on a card she fished from her purse. I com-
pleted the copy, returned the card to her, and she left.

Not long after, I received a call from the manager of one
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*——————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————*

The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person
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doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a
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highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra,
demanding, “Who did that? Who did that?”