Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Money’

An annoying habit I could do without.

August 3rd, 2009

Good morning crew,

Payday was Friday. The mortgage company will be glad to know
that. I won’t be doing much with myself over the next week
or two. I put a lot of what we did in Lake Geneva on the
credit card and I have to pay that down! I’m close to paying
it off and I don’t want my balance to start creeping up
again. It has an annoying habit of doing that if I don’t
pay attention to it!

I’ll fill you in on the rest of the weekend tomorrow.

Welcome to August. Five unofficial weeks of summer left!

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

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***

The chef at a family-run restaurant had broken her leg and
came into our insurance office to file a disability claim.
As I scanned the claim form, I did a double take. Under
“Reason unable to work,” she wrote: “Can’t stand to cook.”

***

“Mattel is releasing a new “Teacher” Barbie next week.
Apparently, it’s just like Malibu Barbie–only she can’t
afford the Corvette.” -Stephanie Miller

***

“The baby is great. My wife and I have just started potty
training. Which I think is important, because when we want
to potty-train the baby we should set a good example.”
–Howie Mandel

———————————————————————-
Auto Shut Off Calculator 2-pk by Unisonic
You Get TWO Calculators For The Price of One…

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99

These Unisonic dual pack calculators are a great tool for
those who need dependable calculators for office work or
on-the-go calculations. One of the calculators can function
in any light and automatically switch to battery power when
it gets dark. With its large 8-digit display, you can see the
results clearly.

FEATURES:
- One (1) battery powered calculator
- One (1) solar powered calculator
- Both have large 8-digit liquid crystal display
- For personal and professional use
- Floating decimal point system
- Auto power shut off function feature
- 10-functions plus full-feature memory
- Recall memory and percentage keys
- Two (2) Carrying cases included

Grab a set for $2.99… that’s less than $1.50 each! Visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3631/c/120/a/%%merge lists_.nalt3_%%
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3631/c/120/a/%%merge lists_.nalt3_%%”>
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———————————————————————-

My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard
Cutter. When she gave my husband Bob a tour of her ship,
he was impressed by the neatness of all decks.

However, when Bob went to Michelle’s house with her, he
couldn’t believe the disorganization. “Why is everything
in its place on your ship,” he asked, “but your house is
such a mess?”

“My house,” Michelle said, “does not take 30-degree rolls.”

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After a careful
examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to
choke a horse.

“I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience.
He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down
his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his
throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.

The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. “Ok, after
the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes.”