Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Little’

One other little tragedy.

August 7th, 2008

Good morning crew,

There was one other little tragedy that happened over the
weekend which I forgot to mention. While sailing on Saturday
I lost my last pair of decent sunglasses overboard.

I went forward to undo a line and like a genius I took my
hat and sunglasses off and put them on the deck thinking
that would be a perfectly safe place for them in a 12 mile-
per-hour wind.

Well, they both went overboard, and while Mason was able to
snag the hat as it floated past the stern, the glasses went
straight to the bottom.

Now all I have left are a pair of orange glasses for riding
the motorcycle at night and one wire-rimmed pair of aviator
glasses with a cracked lens.

I guess I had better invest in some new shades.

Laugh it up,

Joe

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“JetBlue is now charging $7 for a blanket and a pillow. So
now you’ll be able to get a solid eight hours sleep on the
runway.” -David Letterman

***

“The government of China says it is going to prevent rain
at the Beijing Olympics by shooting dust into the clouds.
Because that’s the problem with Beijing — there’s not
enough crap in the air.” -Conan O’Brien

***

“I watched the Teen Choice Awards last night. I didn’t even
recognize the categories. Then it hit me…I’m a geezer!”
-Craig Ferguson
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A bricklayer at my husband’s construction job routinely com-
plained about the contents of his lunch box. “I’m sick and
tired of getting the same old thing!” he shouted one day.
“Tonight I’ll set my wife straight.”

The next day the men could hardly wait until lunchtime to
hear what happened. “You bet I told her off,” the brick-
layer boasted. “I said, ‘No more of the same old stuff. Be
creative!’ We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point
across.”

He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened
his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut-
and a hammer.

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

I was talking on the phone with my son, who was stationed in
Hawaii with the Air Force. He was explaining how the troops
were learning to scuba-dive. “We used the buddy system,” he
said, “and occasionally dived into shark-infested waters.”

Listening on the extension, my daughter asked, “What do you
do if you see a shark?”

My son said, “Swim faster than my buddy.”