Clean Laffs

Good morning crew,

I was hoping that a whole bunch of readers would write in
to ask about my reference to John Harrison in yesterday’s
column so I could give a brief exposition on him because
I think what he did was pretty cool. However, only one
person bothered to ask who the heck he is, which is more
than enough excuse for me… 

     Until the mid 1750s, navigation at sea was an
     unsolved problem due to the difficulty in
     calculating longitudinal position. Navigators
     could determine their latitude by measuring the
     sun’s angle at noon. However, to find their
     longitude, they needed a portable time standard
     that would work aboard a ship. The purpose of a
     chronometer is to keep the time of a known fixed
     location, which can then serve as a reference
     point for determining the ship’s position. Con-
     ceptually, by comparing local high noon to the
     chronometer’s time, a navigator could use the
     time difference to determine the ship’s present
     longitude.

     The problem of creating a seaworthy timepiece
     was difficult. Until the 20th century, the best
     timekeepers were pendulum clocks, and the
     rolling of a ship at sea rendered the ordinary,
     gravity-based pendulum useless. John Harrison,
     a Yorkshire carpenter, invented a clock design
     using a fast-beating balance controlled by a
     temperature-compensated spiral spring whose
     motion was not influenced by gravity or the
     motion of a ship.

     This general layout remained in use until micro-
     chips reduced the cost of a quartz clock to the
     point that electronic chronometers became common-
     place.

So, essentially, in 1761 John Harrison invented the modern
clock and also ushered in the modern era of sea navigation
in one stroke. And now that you’ve learned something new
you don’t have to learn anything else for the rest of the
day.

Laugh it up,

Joe 

                            ***

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                            ***

“A new poll shows only 1 out of 4 people approve of the job
President Bush is doing. That means when he’s having dinner
with his wife and two daughters, he’s the only one at the
table who thinks he’s doing a good job.” -Jay Leno

                            ***

“Sarah Palin is nothing if not diligent. She’s working hard,
preparing for the debate with Joe Biden. Earlier today, in
Arizona, we heard she shot a donkey.” -David Letterman

                            ***

“The much-anticipated vice presidential debate takes place
tomorrow night. Sen. Joe Biden faces off with Alaska Gov.
Sarah Palin. Even though she’s not expected to do well in
the debate, she is favored heavily in Friday’s swimsuit
competition.” -Jimmy Kimmel

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Recently launched into the “real world” and shocked by the
expenses that came with it, my brother was complaining
about the high cost of auto insurance.

“If you got married,” teased my dad, “the premium would be
much lower.”

My brother smiled and said, “Dad, that would be like buying
an airline just to get free peanuts.”

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

As the horror movie was about to reach its terrifying con-
clusion, the young woman began fidgeting in her seat next
to her date.

The man sitting behind her leaned forward and inquired,
“Excuse me. Are you feeling hysterical?”

“No,” she whispered. “He’s feeling mine.”

************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
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