Clean Laffs

Good morning crew,

The food and the beer (and the baseball game) weren’t the
only entertainment on Saturday. Even before we made it to
the rooftop club one of our party disappeared to find a
street vendor and returned with a size small, woman’s, pink
T-shirt that read “Cubbie Girl” across the chest.

And it only took two beers to get old Mason into it. He was
quite a sight with that paper-thin fabric stretched across
his chest and abdomen with his meaty arms sticking out of
those tiny arm holes like sausages.

Of course, no one would let him take it off. He walked the
two blocks, through the crowded, pre-game streets, from the
bar to the rooftop club, and spent the entire afternoon with
that awful pink shirt on.

A plan was proposed that we should all buy pink T-shirts and
spend the rest of the night in them. I am not sure why cross-
dressing suddenly became the theme of the day, but only one
more pink T-shirt was purchased and they tried to get me in-
to it.

I, of course, reserving a modicum of dignity, absolutely
refused to put the thing on…that is until much later that
evening when we had all retired to a club farther downtown
patronized by young ladies in summer dresses and men in
shirts and collars.

You get some strange looks when you are standing at the men’s
urinal at ten o’clock at night wearing a pink T-shirt with
“Mrs. DeRosa” emblazoned across the back.

Laugh it up,

Joe 

                            ***

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                            ***

“Has everyone seen the Rupublican vice-presidential candidate,
Sarah Palin? Sarah Palin looks like a model for LensCrafters.”
 -David Letterman

                            ***

“The Republican National Convention is still going wild in
Minneapolis. Alaska governor and vice presidential nominee
Sarah Palin was the star speaker. She promised a walrus in
every igloo and a whale tooth in every papoose.” -Jimmy Kimmel

                            ***

“I saw some of the Republican Convention last night. I didn’t
mean to watch it — I was flipping through the channels, and
I saw a bunch of really old white guys on stage and I thought,
The Rolling Stones! But no.” -Craig Ferguson

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A zoning board had just been set up in a new community. A
homeowner went to the office to request permission to build
a small toolshed in his backyard.

“Do you have a plan?” asked the director.

“Oh, yes,” said the owner, who showed him a map of his
neighborhood, the dimension of his yard, and a sketch of
the shed.

“That looks fine,” said the director. He pulled out a piece
of paper, wrote a few words on it, Xeroxed it, and said,
“Here’s your permission.”

A month later, a neighbor in exactly the same situation also
wanted permission for a shed in her yard. She went to the
director, got as far as a secretary, and made her request.
“Thank you, Mrs. Smith,” said the secretary, taking the
documents. “Telephone me in two weeks and I’ll let you know
what the director’s decision is, or what further steps are
necessary.”

“But,” groaned Mrs. Smith, “a month ago my neighbor got per-
mission right away.”

“Oh, yes,” said the secretary, “but that was before we
finally got organized.”

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

Two mothers are having a conversation about their children
one day.

“How do you get your Marvin up so early on school mornings?”
asks Joan.

“Oh, that’s easy,” replies Marianne. “I just throw the cat
on his bed.”

“Why does that wake him up?”

“He sleeps with the dog!”

************************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.