Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Black Belt’

The business of martial arts.

February 10th, 2009

Good morning crew,

      Joe, I enjoy your martial arts exploits, but
    I’m amazed that you have just learned that it
      is a business in the commercial dojos. -Dave

Of course it’s a business. Rent and salaries have to be paid
and the lights have to be kept on. But I think I understand
your meaning…that discipline and certain standards and ex-
pectations have given way to profit.

That is largely true. On many occasions I have had low belts
ask me if I think they will pass testing, and if I am feeling
particularly honest I will tell them that as long as their
check clears they will pass!

That is a slight exaggeration, but the truth is that just like
so many other things in life, you get out of it what you put
into it. If you dodge your training and do the bare minimum
most schools will nurse you through, as long as you’re willing
to keep writing checks, and eventually they will give you a
black belt. In my opinion it is cheaper and quicker to go to
a martial arts supply store and buy one.

But if you are dedicated and determined and put in 100 percent
there are a lot of talented martial arts instructors out there
who will recognize a dedicated student and will give him or
her all the training they can handle.

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

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***

“They’ve just released a study that says in the next 30
years, there is a 97 percent chance that Southern California
will have an earthquake of magnitude 6.7 or greater. And
there’s a 40 percent chance of either being run over or
attacked by Britney Spears. Things are pretty bleak.”
-Jimmy Kimmel

***

“According to a new study, polar bears will probably be ex-
tinct by the year 2050. So enjoy eating them while you can.”
-Dave Letterman

***

“In a recent interview, Brad Pitt said he and Angelina Jolie
would like to have another baby. Angelina denied the story
and said, ‘Brad must have misunderstood when I said I was in
the mood for Chinese.’” -Conan O’Brien

———————————————————————————————-
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Apparently I tend to brag too much about my home state of
Ohio. One day I told a long-suffering friend, “You know,
the first man in powered flight was from Ohio. The first
man to orbit the earth was from Ohio. And the first man on
the moon was from Ohio.”

“Sounds like a lot of people are trying to get out of Ohio,”
he observed.

*——————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————*

I’m dyslexic, and attended a conference about the disorder
with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal
experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates
my condition, in which I reverse words and letters when I’m
tense.

When I finished speaking, my friend leaned over and whispered
to me, “Now I know why you named your daughter Hannah.”