Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Black Belt Test’

It would only be just deserts.

June 23rd, 2009

Good morning crew,

Tonight is part one of the black belt test, folks (last
night from your perspective). This is the endurance portion
of the test which consists of two hours of random torture.

Despite having gone through it twice before I still feel a
little nervous. Who knows what kind of deviltry the masters
have cooked up. But what’s the worst that can happen? I get
humiliated and made to cry like a little girl?

It would only be just deserts considering how many actual
little girls I have made cry while helping to administer
this exact same test over the previous years.

I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

150 EPISODES OF CLASSIC SCI-FI TV on 12 DVDs
You Won’t Find A Better Collection Of Rare Sci-Fi Stuff…

List Price: $79.99
DEAL PRICE: $24.99
That’s less than 18 cents an episode…

Once in a while an offer comes around that is so good you
just have to jump right away to get it. This is one of
those offers. If you have fond memories of growing up with
Flash Gordon, One Step Beyond, Rocky Jones… even Captain
Z-Ro, then take the opportunity to order this now!

:::: SUPER VALUE – Under $.18 per episode ::::

These have been re-mastered and vary in quality, but ALL are
extremely watchable. You have an opportunity to recapture
those nostalgic feelings of when you first saw them.

This collection was put together with loving care. The 16
episodes of One Step Beyond are worth the entire price by
themselves. This makes one of the best gifts you could ever
get a Sci-Fi Fan.

To order or see the entire listing of programs included, visit:
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<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14502/c/120/a/505“>
150 EPISODES OF CLASSIC SCI-FI TV on 12 DVDs</a>

***

“GM just announced that they will stop manufacturing the
Pontiac Vibe in August. The reason? Bad Vibes.” -Jimmy Fallon

***

“Scientists say they’ve found a new link between depression
and obesity. Not surprisingly it’s a sausage link.”
-Conan O’Brien

***

“I think vests are all about protection. The life vest pro-
tects you from drowning, and the bullet-proof vest protects
you from getting shot and the sweater vest protects you
from pretty girls.” -Demetri Martin

———————————————————————————————–
Laptop Holder by FineLife
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your laptop to get that correct angle. With up to seven points
of tilting or angle, adjust as you feel fit. Improving your
posture will greatly improve your productivity as well.

And because your laptop will slightly be elevated, the free
flow of air below means the holder will help your laptop cool
down just a little. Added performance for your laptop, you
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———————————————————————————————–

Mixed Metaphors

English professors love to catch the errors students make in
their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch
mixed metaphors. The “friends and survivors” of Calvin College
English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and
posted them on their web site:

“He swept the rug under the carpet.”
“She’s burning the midnight oil at both ends.”
“It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on
the fire.”
“It’s time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.”
“She’s robbing Peter to pay the piper.”
“He’s up a tree without a paddle.”
“Beware my friend…you are skating on hot water.”
“Keep your ear to the grindstone.”
“Sometimes you’ve gotta stick your neck out on a limb.”
“Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife
slicing through butter.”

*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*

A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location.
“It’s only a stone’s throw away from the beach,” he was
told.

“But how will I recognize it?” asked the man.

The reply came back: “It’s the one with all the broken
windows.”