Clean Laffs

Posts Tagged ‘Bachelor Party’

Sometimes humor hurts.

May 6th, 2009

Good morning crew,

After the baseball game the rest of the bachelor “party” was
pretty much what you’d expect from a bunch of guys hanging
out together all night…beers, darts, beers, dinner, beers,
a hockey game on TV, some sherry (just kidding…more beer).

The only awkward part came shortly after I met the rest of
Steve’s crew. We were standing around talking and joking,
and in an effort to endear myself to a group of veritable
strangers I quipped to Steve, “I bet you’re looking forward
to the wedding night. Huh? Huh? Only three more weeks and
then it’s legal!”

There was a protracted silence punctuated by Steve bluntly
asking, “So! Who’s looking forward to the game?”

I didn’t find out until much later than the gentleman I was
standing next to was the father of Steve’s fiancee.

I guess that explained why he kept staring at me the rest of
the day.

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

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***

“Researchers at Northwestern University said the worst-case
scenario is that Swine Flu will infect 1,700 Americans over
the next month. Best-case scenario? It turns you into a
wolverine.” –Bill Maher

***

“According to a poll on the Marie Claire website, they asked
people what they would do to keep their job? Interesting.
28 percent said they would give up their office to keep their
job. 27 percent said they would work fewer hours to keep
their job. And 45 percent said they would move to 10 o’clock.”
–Jay Leno
***

“I’m Jimmy, the host of the program. Unfortunately, because
of the swine flu, I cannot physically hug you all. But I want
you to know that I’m hugging each of you in my heart right
now.” –Jimmy Kimmel

———————————————————————————————–
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A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His
sobbing wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?”
the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking when
the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the
phone, I didn’t notice the stove had caught on fire. It went
up in seconds. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it
out of the house. Poor Fluffy is gone……..”

“Wait! Back up a minute,” the man says. “My agent called?”

*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*

When my wife and I went up to New England a couple of years
ago we decided to stay in one of those quaint little inns.
The clerk at the inn asked me if we wanted a room with a
shower or a tub.

“What’s the difference?” I asked.

“Well, sir, in a tub, you can sit down.”