Clean Laffs

Good morning crew,

I tried desperately not to go out to the bar last night, but
after class a couple people from the gym literally dragged
me to the bar. It was more of an abduction, really. Two guys
pinned my arms and another two guys grabbed my legs and they
forced me into a car. Once at the bar they duct taped me to
a stool and forcibly poured beer down my throat. It was very
humiliating. But I was able to negotiate my own release after
about two hours, which wasn’t too bad.

Laugh it up,

Joe 

                            ***

MESH LAUNDRY BAG WITH DRAWSTRING…

Retail Price: $5.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.49
Get two for $3.98

Breathable mesh keeps laundry fresh - damp towels and clothes
won’t mildew. This roomy 36″ x 24″ hamper bag features a long,
locking drawstring cord for easy transport of laundry.
Lightweight yet durable - designed to hold large loads.

Perfect for camping or storage. All you coaches out there will
love it for lugging athletic equipment around. And let’s not
forget how great this is for a dorm room or apartment living!

Also provides an environmentally friendly way to carry groceries…
keep one in your car. Grab one for $2.49 or save an additional
$1.00 and get two for $3.98.
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MESH LAUNDRY BAG WITH DRAWSTRING…</a>

                            ***

“Did you hear about this? This is one of those only in
California stories - elementary school students in Berkeley
are receiving a class credit for ‘lunch.’ Since they learn
about nutrition, lunch is now considered a class. See, that’s
when you know we’re getting too fat in this country, when
students are actually majoring in lunch!” –Jay Leno

                            ***

“I was watching the movie ‘300′ yesterday. The ancient Greek
stories are strange. The story of Odysseus is basically the
story of a long, hellish commute; and along the way, a sor-
ceress turns Odysseus’ friends into pigs… which is not
really magic if you’ve ever been to a high school reunion.”
 -Craig Ferguson

                            ***

“McDonald’s is trying to compete with Starbuck’s, so they’re
going to start serving lattes and cappuccinos. McDonald’s
say both drinks go great with their new vente hazelnut
McRib.” -Conan O’Brien

————————————————————————————————
INFLATABLE TRAVEL POCKET PILLOW

Retail Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.99
Get Two Pillows for $5.98

This Inflatable Travel Pocket Pillow is the anytime, anywhere
solution to your on the go relaxation needs.

Fear long car rides and train commutes no more… This simple
yet effective inflatable pillow has two chambers which can be
individually filled with more or less air to produce a firm
supportive pillow or a soft plush pillow. The inflatable
pocket pillow’s second chamber in designed for greater neck
support, it does this by gently elevating the middle portion
of the neck, allowing you head to rest in a proper, well
supported position, eliminating neck pain and discomfort.

Great For Trips… Take this pillow with you on the road in your
car, on the train to work on the bus to the mall or take it to
the beach to support your head on the sand without ruining your
good pillows!.

Best of all use it on an airplane and YOU KNOW it’s sanitary…
no more worrying who used the pillow on the plane before you!

Travel Pocket Pillow is felt covered plastic and is hand washable.
Since it does not hold foreign bodies like sand or dirt, you are
free to use this outdoors too… Get one for $3.99 or two for
$5.98. They really make a wonderful gift.
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INFLATABLE TRAVEL POCKET PILLOW</a>
————————————————————————————————

Doug asks, “I know you’re crazy about that little daughter
of yours, Bill. What are you going to do when she starts to
date?”

Bill says, “I figure I’ll take the first young man aside,
put my arm around his shoulder, and pull him close to me
so that only he can hear. Then I’ll say, “Do you see that
sweet, little young lady? She’s my only daughter, and I
love her very much. If you were thinking about touching,
kissing, or being physically affectionate to her in any
way, just remember…I don’t mind going back to prison.”

*——————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————*

The birth of our second child, a daughter, came after a long
and difficult labor. But it was definitely worth it when our
beautiful little girl emerged, perfect in every way. Later,
in my room, my husband looked at her tenderly, with tears in
his eyes. Then as he glanced up at me, I expected him to utter
something truly poetic. Instead he asked, “What’d we decide
to call her again?”

************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.