Good morning crew,
I have some serious issues with NOAA.gov and weather.com,
namely that they couldn’t predict the weather with a crystal
ball, or maybe a crystal ball is exactly what they are
predicting the weather with!
For days before leaving for Lake Geneva I was checking the
weather twice a day. Every day they were predicting a 30-40
percent chance of thunderstorms and mild winds.
Because of that I didn’t take either the sailboat or the
motorcycle up there. What do you think we got for three solid
days in Lake Geneva? Sunny skies, 75-80 degree weather and
10-20 mph winds. Ideal conditions for either the motorcycle
or the boat! Talk about your wasted opportunities.
Laugh it up,
Joe
***
LED KEY FINDER with Key Chain Clip
Never Lose Your Keys Again…
List Price: $9.99
YOUR PRICE: $5.99
Get Two for $9.98
Never lose your keys again. What sets this Key Finder apart
from others is notification comes in TWO different ways… Sight
and Sound. Just whistle to get both notifications and locate
your keys in seconds.
FEATURES:
- Whistle to find your keys in no time
- Beeper and light come with separate on/off switches
- Keys can be added or removed with an easy-to-push open
hook & latch key system
- Requires 1 CR-2025 Lithium Battery (Included)
- Comes in a gift-wrapped box
Get this for yourself or for your forgetful friend or spouse…
they’ll thank you forever. VISIT:
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***
“According to a survey by nationwide mutual insurance, 2
percent of people actually shave while they’re driving. They
shave! How many guys would like to be in the car with those
women?” –Jay Leno
***
“I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna
put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But
first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of
the map so it won’t fall down.” –Mitch Hedberg
***
“Food addicts are the people I feel sorriest for because
that’s really hard. You need to eat. You don’t need to do
drugs. Very hard for these people to quit. “I’m going cold
turkey… mmmmm turkey. Do not think about food… do not
think about food… do not… nuts…” –Craig Ferguson
———————————————————————————————–
TOUGH TOOLS LED TORCH FLASHLIGHT
Normal Price: $4.99
DEAL PRICE: $1.99
Get Two for $2.98
Don’t let the size fool you… This amazing little flashlight
uses nine of the brightest led bulbs available and is one of
the most energy efficient types of flashlights available today!
With its compact size and light weight design makes it really
handy and portable. It’s perfect for camping, travel, boating,
home emergency kits, or even walking the dog! Colors may vary.
FEATURES:
- 100,000 hour LEDs – 120 foot effective range
- Anti-shock structure – Takes 3 AAA Batteries (INCLUDED)
Just $1.49 each when you buy two or more…
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TOUGH TOOLS LED TORCH FLASHLIGHT</a>
———————————————————————————————–
A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a
couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of
the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic
and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five-
year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator.
Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she
was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male
alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load
by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he
tried to console the mother by saying, “I think I can grab
the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to
grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator.”
To which the lady replies “Good Heavens, no! Don’t shoot
him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute
so I could take my son’s picture on his back.”
*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*
“This house,” said the real estate salesman, “has both its
good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m
going to tell you about both.
The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one
block south and a slaughterhouse a block north.”
“What are the advantages?” inquired the prospective buyer.
“The advantage is that you can always tell which way the
wind is blowing.”
************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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