Good morning crew,
I’m taking the day off tomorrow because the fourth falls on
Saturday and I feel it is my patriotic duty to not contribute
to the economy for at least one day in celebration of our
country’s independence.
With my time off I think I’ll head downtown for The Taste
of Chicago. Foolish? Yes. Maybe even stupid. It is the day
before a major holiday and the second to last day of the
fest. About half of the entire population of Chicago will
be there. There will be lines of up to two and a half hours,
and that is just to buy the food and drink tickets. The
lines to buy actual food and drinks will probably be several
hours each.
The lines for the bathrooms will be so long it will be more
convenient to actually walk to the lake front and go right
in Lake Michigan.
But! One way or another I’m going. If you don’t hear from me
on Monday you can assume I succumbed to hunger or dehydration
or I got trampled.
Excluding that, I’ll fill you in on any exciting details
from the weekend next week!
Laugh it up,
Joe
***
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***
“To promote the use of clean energy, a Swiss adventurist is
going to fly around the world in a solar-powered airplane.
He’s just praying that nothing bad will happen…like night.”
-Jimmy Fallon
***
“When I’m driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL
CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I’m
not afraid of small children.” –Jonathan Katz
***
“Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a
penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far
didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was
grounded.” –Tim Allen
———————————————————————————————–
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———————————————————————————————–
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at an academic function,
and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which
the doctor was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me,
Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency
in somebody who appears completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask a simple question
which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person
hesitates, that puts you on the track.”
“What sort of question?”
“Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips
around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’”
The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous
laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would
you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”
*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*
I overheard my father telling a family friend about my newly-
assigned mission in the U.S. Coast Guard. I work on a cutter
that escorts all cruise ships and international vessels under
the bridges in California’s Bay Area.
But what my father told his friend was, “She’s involved in
some sort of escort service.”
************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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