Good morning crew,

         Joe, one of the reasons you are having trouble
         selling your boat is because of the name.  The
         word “Albatross” conveys a feeling that the
         boat is a burden and that is why you are selling
         it.  Perhaps a more positive name might make a
         difference.  Something like “Opportunity” or
         “Sunshine”.  Give it a try.

           -Mark E., Billings, MT

I appreciate the thought Mark, but the albatross has always
been considered by mariners to be good luck. Many believe
Albatrosses carry the immortal souls of lost sailors.

Seamen held that killing an albatross would bring bad luck.

It was that hack, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who created the
false impression that an albatross is bad luck in his “Rime
of the Ancient Mariner.” To be completely honest, it was
high schooler’s poor reading comprehension which lead to
that misunderstanding.

The subject in Coleridge’s poem shoots an albatross, which
was a good omen, and then is forced to wear its corpse as an
indication that he, not the whole ship, offended against the
bird.

Anyway, the boat isn’t really called Albatross. That’s just
what I call it. It is officially named Serenity Now! And that
is with the exclamation point. I have old Mason to thank for
that. He registered the boat with that name (behind my back)
with Burnham Harbor and we had to put it on the hull.

We were the only boat in the entire marina that had a name
with punctuation.

Laugh it up,

Joe

                                      ***

The Easy & Accurate Way To Ensure Foods Are Fully Cooked…

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get Two For: $15.98

Now you can enjoy your meats perfectly cooked, everytime, with
the new Thermo Mate Reuseable Color Changing Thermometer Fork.
The Thermo Mate incorporates temperature sensors that changes
color to indicate when meat is cooked to perfection.

Includes Three (3) Thermometer Forks:
- One for Meat      – One for Fish      – One for Poultry

FEATURES:
- Color-changing Temperature Sensor
- Easy to read… Cook Beef Rare, Medium or Well Done
- Reusable
- Easy To Clean (Just use soap & water).
- Great for Barbecue, Stovetop, Oven or Microwave

If you are health conscious and believe in eating healthy and
cooked food, then your kitchen MUST have the three-piece Thermo
Mate set.

Get a 3-pack of Thermo Mates (Beef, Fish, Poultry) for $9.99 or
2 Sets for $15.98.
VISIT: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14527/c/120/a/505
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14527/c/120/a/505“>
Thermo Mate – Reusable Color Changing Thermometer Fork</a>

                                      ***

“For sale,” read the ad in our hospital’s weekly newsletter,
“sleeveless wedding gown, white, size 8, veil included. Worn
once, by mistake.”

                                      ***

When hiring new staff at the public library, I always ask
applicants what sort of supervision they’d be most com-
fortable with. One genius answered, “I’ve always thought
Superman’s X-ray vision would be cool.”

                                      ***

My niece was thrilled to hear that a new car wash was opening
up in her neighborhood.”How convenient,” she said. “I can walk
to it!”

———————————————————————————————–
NEW & IMPROVED – PET BLINKERS… The Pet Safety Light
Protect Yourself & Your Pet!

Store Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.99 or less

Pet Blinkers give you the added security and peace of mind
knowing you and your pet(s) are visible at night. Whether
you’re going for a jog with your pet or if you just want
extra attention, attach the Pet Blinker to your pet’s collar
and be seen a half-mile away. These eye-catching LEDs
accessorize any pet. Requires three AG3 lithium cell
batteries (included).
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/6753v0
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/6753v0“>
PET BLINKERS… The Pet Safety Light</a>
———————————————————————————————–

Do I look that shady? I just got a GPS for my car, and my
first trip with it was to a drugstore. Since the manual said
not to leave it in the car unattended, I brought it with me
into the store. While there, the GPS came alive, and a voice
stated, “Lost satellite contact.”

I wasn’t embarrassed until a woman turned to me and said,
“Your ankle bracelet monitor is talking to you.”

*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*

Dr. Smith asks his patient, “Which do you want first, the
good news or the bad news?”

The patient replies, “Give me the good news.”

Dr. Smith says, “You’re about to have a disease named after
you.”

************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

• Previous Entry: We didn’t have any luck this time either.
• Next Entry: Things are starting to get desperate.