Good morning crew,
Old Mason and I had a guy look at the Albatross this weekend.
He seemed very interested. This may be it. He said he’ll call
or send an email in the next couple of days if he’s going to
pony up. I have to admit I’m a little heart-broken. I’m not
sure I’m comfortable with some strange, old guy putting his
hands all over her glossy, white curves, fondling her stays
and buffing her compass. Sure she’s a crushing financial
burden, but what worthwhile woman isn’t?
I’ll let you know what happens.
Laugh it up,
Joe
***
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***
“Police in North Carolina are looking for a pregnant woman
who attempted to rob a bank at gunpoint. FBI sketch artists
have just released a sonogram. Be careful everyone she is
armed and lactating.” -Jimmy Fallon
***
“There’s an asteroid heading toward the earth and we’re all
going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there’s a 1
in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036.
Now an asteroid is a giant rock. It’s headed toward the
earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn’t
send scissors; that would be impractical.” -Craig Ferguson
***
“According to Newsweek, they’ve now come out with the carbon
diet. An environmentally friendly diet that reduces green-
house gases. Let me tell you something. If your diet is so
bad that you are causing global warming… just stay out of
Taco Bell.” -Jay Leno
———————————————————————————————–
“I was a little surprised by this gift I got, but I
have to say, even after a year, it is still one of
my favorites.” – Bob
You too will love the Auto Seat Organizer. See why people
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———————————————————————————————–
After a recent move, I made up a list of companies, agencies,
and services that needed to know my new address and phoned
each one to ask for the change to be made.
Everything went smoothly until I called one of my frequent
flier accounts. After I explained to the representative what
I wanted to do, the woman told me, “I’m sorry; we can’t do
that over the phone. You will have to fill out our change-of-
address form.”
“How do I get one of those?” I asked.
“We’d be happy to provide you with one,” she said pleasantly.
“May I have your new address so that I can mail it to you?”
*———————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————–*
A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a
faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the
menus.
Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts for many
of those commands. For example, suppose you want to trigger
the Select All command…
Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it?
Agent: Well, you just press Control-A.
Caller (after a pause): Well, that’s not working for me.
Agent: Do you have a text document open in front of you?
Caller: Yes, I sure do.
Agent: OK, now press Control-A.
Caller: I am, but nothing happens.
Agent: The text isn’t highlighted?
Caller: No, there’s no change at all.
Agent: That’s odd. If you press Control-A the whole document
should be highlighted. Try it again. Press Control-A. Tell
me exactly what’s happening.
Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen. I’m
pressing Control, eh? And nothing’s happening, eh?
***********************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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