Clean Laffs

Archive for March, 2009

It was an expensive weekend.

March 30th, 2009

Good morning crew,

It was an expensive weekend. I had to pay for my promotion
test at the school (which I’ll tell you about later) and
then I went out for dinner and drinks and blew an inordinate
chunk of my tax refund. Plus, I went shopping for new sky-
lights and you’d think those things were made out of gold
leaf and Swarovski crystal!

Anyway, it doesn’t look like the refund is going to last
as long as I hoped. It looks like I’m going to have to go
back to hanging out at the grammar schools and beating up
little kids for their lunch money.

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

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***

“My father spent the last 20 years of his life writing
letters. If someone thanked him for a wedding present, he
thanked them for thanking him and there was no end to the
exchange but death.” -Evelyn Waugh

***

“The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand
that bites it. -Laurence Peter

***

“Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady, but a
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My quiet Saturday morning ended abruptly when my 12-year-old
son, Billy, and one of his friends burst through the door.

“Hey Dad, announced Billy, “have you met the new neighbors?”

“No.”

“Come on Dad, you have to meet them.”

“Some other time; I’m busy.”

“Dad, you have to meet them now.”

From the urgency in Billy’s voice, I assumed the neighbors
were waiting outside. I set aside my project and went to the
front of the house. No one was there.

“Where are they?” I asked.

“Well, Dad,” he explained, “we haven’t met them yet either,
but our baseball is in their living room!”

*——————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————*

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, “You know,
honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this
article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves
a stumbling block to the son.”

“Well, thank heaven,” said the wife, “at least our James has
nothing standing in his way.”