The joys of home ownership.
Good morning crew,
Despite what I wrote in yesterday’s issue I did have some
plumbing issues over the weekend, but they did not involve
my tub.
For weeks I had been hearing a telltale tinkle in my toilet
tank. At first it was barely audible, but it slowly got
worse until I couldn’t ignore it any more.
So I finally broke down and dismantled the thing. But I
wasn’t about to dismantle the toilet tank without taking
the opportunity to paint the bathroom. You see, whichever
knot head had painted it before me had failed to prime the
drywall, which means that the paint has been slowly flaking
from the moisture for years.
So I spent most of Saturday scraping and sanding and spraying
toxic primer all over the place. I didn’t even start painting
until Sunday…which took about four hours. And then putting
the toilet tank back together took fifteen minutes.
It actually didn’t turn out too bad, except the color I
bought in the store was Cheerful Morning and the color that
ended up on the walls is Canary Yellow. Not sure how that
happened.
Laugh it up,
Joe
***
FLYING ALARM CLOCK
Fun AND Effective…
Normal Price: $29.99
DEAL PRICE: $14.99
Trouble getting up in the mornings? This will do the trick! When
the alarm sounds, the propeller is launched up into the air &
flies around the room.
To turn off the alarm you’ll have to get up, find it & return it
to the base. This digital alarm clock has a large easy to read
backlit display. It also has an easy to set snooze function.
Visit to see a video of it in action…
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/ha3rz7
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/ha3rz7“>
FLYING ALARM CLOCK</a>
***
“I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have
hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to
it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.”
-Dwight Schrute, The Office
***
“Dad’s are born without the sympathy gene. You can break your
leg, hobble into your house, and all your dad will do is look
over the paper and grumble, ‘Shake it off!’” –Robert G. Lee
***
Police officers in Brockton, Mass received a call regarding
an injured animal lying on a street corner. When they arrived
at the scene they found a dog that had been hit by a car. But
according to the local newspaper, the police report stated
that the dog was okay and “refused medical treatment.”
———————————————————————————————-
HANDY BLENDER by Fine Life
The #1 Easy-To-Use Kitchen Helper…
Retail Price: $39.99
Deal Price: $24.99
Get Two for $39.98
The Fine Life Hand Blender quickly whips, blends, mixes, chops
and purees directly in your glass, bowl or cooking pan, so you
don’t have to clean a separate bowl.
It’s 180-watt motor manages almost any task plus has 2 speeds.
The slim design fits into your hand for extremely convenient
mixing, blending and chopping. Plus it has a non-slip grip
handle with an on/off switch for a simple one-handed operation.
FEATURES:
- Blends, mixes, purees, & chops
- Dishwasher safe
- Scratch Resistant Body
- Comfort Handle
Grab one… you’ll absolutely love the convenience it provides
in your kitchen.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/qw4qr2
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/qw4qr2“>
The #1 Easy-To-Use Kitchen Helper…</a>
———————————————————————————————-
The night before she was to attend a celebrity golf
tournament, my friend Irene went to a party in honor of the
event. Several of the famous athletes who were playing in
the tournament were at the door greeting guests. Among them
was Joe Montana, the pro football Hall of Fame quarterback
and Super Bowl winner. Shaking my friend’s hand, he said,
“Hi! Joe Montana.”
She didn’t know Joe Montana from Joe Six-Pack, so in all
sincerity she extended her hand and said, “Irene Minnesota.”
*——————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ———————*
At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older
man.
“Say, my doctor recommended I move here for my health. Is
this really a good place to live?”
“It sure is,” the man replied. “When I first arrived here
I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head.
I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had
to be lifted out of bed.”
“That’s wonderful!” said John. “How long have you been here?”
“I was born here.”
************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
Tags: Clean Laffs, Home Ownership, Jokes, Painting, Plumbing
Loading ...