Clean Laffs

Good morning crew,

The days are really fading fast. It is dark by six o’clock
now. The temperatures are getting down into the thirties at
night and we had our first snow flurry yesterday. And it’s
not even November.

It’s that pesky global warming.

Laugh it up,

Joe 

                            ***

Cutting Edge Rolling Scissors
See how different cutting can feel…

Retail Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.99

Introducing the revolutionary way to cut gift wrap, wallpaper,
shelf paper, blue prints, vinyl and more… the Cutting Edge
Rolling Scissors!

Use a rolling action instead of squeezing to reduce hand cramps
and fatigue. This action makes cutting easier for children, the
elderly, and those with arthritis or carpal tunnel syndrome.

Twin precision roller bearings do the cutting so there are no
blades or sharp edges and the contoured handle protects hands
from paper cuts. Bearings will not need sharpening and are
designed for years of use. The built-in guide assures accurate
cuts at any length and after a cut is made edges are clean and
smooth. Comfortable for right or left handed users.

Grab a pair or two… you will absolutely love them. Visit:
Visit: http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/ak5h21
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/ak5h21“>
Cutting Edge Rolling Scissors</a>

                            ***

“I don’t have any kids. Well, at least none that I know about.
I’d like to have kids one day, though. I want to be called
Mommy by somebody other than Spanish guys in the street.”
 –Carol Leifer

                            ***

Most people are unwilling to sell their souls; but they
usually aren’t opposed to renting them out for an hour or
two.

                            ***

“My wife finally convinced me to sign what’s called a living
will. It’s a document that gives her the right, if I become
attached to some mechanical device, to terminate my life. So
yesterday, I’m on the excercise bike…” -Jonathan Katz

———————————————————————————————-
PET BLINKERS… The Pet Safety Light
Protect Yourself & Your Pet!

Store Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.99 or less

Pet Blinkers give you the added security and peace of mind
knowing you and your pet(s) are visible at night. Whether
you’re going for a jog with your pet or if you just want
extra attention, attach the Pet Blinker to your pet’s collar
and be seen a half-mile away. These eye-catching LEDs
accessorize any pet. Requires three AG3 lithium cell
batteries (included).
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/6753v0
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/6753v0“>
PET BLINKERS… The Pet Safety Light</a>
———————————————————————————————-

A group of junior-level executives were participating in
a management training program. The seminar leader pounded
home his point about the need to make decisions and take
action on these decisions.

“For instance,” he said, “if you had five frogs on a log
and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would
you have left on the log?”

The answers from the group were unanimous: “Two.”

“Wrong,” replied the speaker, “there would still be five
because there is a difference between deciding to jump and
jumping.”

*——————- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ——————–*

My wife and I were making our own funeral arrangements, and
the director showed us into a room in which containers for
ashes were on display.

After we looked at the choices, I asked my wife if she had
decided.

She sighed. “Yes, the wood-finish one, as it will likely go
into the ground.”

After a moment’s pause, however, she continued. “But I really
prefer the blue one. You know I always look good in blue.”

************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.