It was still a nice thought.
Good morning crew,
Vindication! Or at least compensation. My date for the
wedding last week felt bad about almost poking my eyeball
right out of my head, so she bought me a copy of SimCity 4
as a subtle bribe to forget the whole thing and stop
telling people at the school that she is a vicious head-
hunter.
Unfortunately, now I am going to have to spend huge amounts
of time playing it, but it was still a nice thought on her
part.
Laugh it up,
Joe
***
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No Messy & Gross Nail Clippings Flying About Everywhere!
The Accu-Clipper is the Finger & Toe Nail Clipper you’ve
been waiting for! This professional quality clipper comes
with a built-in nail catcher to trap clippings for easy
disposal. Plus you flip the lever up and there’s a nail
file included to smooth out those rough spots after clipping.
FEATURES:
- Sharp cutting edge gives effortless, precise snips.
- Traps clipped nails for no mess clippings
- Includes file to smooth rough edges
- Cutting edge shapes & smoothes the nail.
- Lightweight and durable.
- Easy-hold wider, longer, more comfort to hold handle
- Please Note: Colors of the Accu-Clipper Nail Clipper will vary.
BONUS: With your order we’ll include a pair of Rotary Nose
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***
“At the end of our first date the girl told me I was crazy
in the head and I should be committed to a mental institu-
tion. Why do women always want us to make a commitment?”
-Unknown
***
“When you get married and have a kid, you can’t do all
those things you wanted to do as a young existentialist
of seventeen or eighteen… like kill yourself.” -Al Rae
***
“The only thing that stops God from sending another flood
is that the first one was useless.” -Nicholas Chamfort
————————————————————
SET OF 20 SUPER HOOKS
Simply Clever… Just Push & Turn…
Normal Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get 2 Sets (40 hooks total) for $9.98
Say goodbye to your hammer and nails. Now you can hang pictures,
mirrors, shelves or more FAST, EASY, and more SECURELY than
every before.
With these clever Super Hooks, all you do is just position,
twist, turn and voila!! No drills, no hammers, no mess.
You get a set of 20.
Works on drywall, plaster or paneling. Perfect for home,
office, or school. Holds up to 100 lbs.
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————————————————————
You have probably heard about the lawsuit over a spilled cup
of coffee. However, there are many other silly lawsuits
involving products that have received far less attention.
For example:
A prescription of sleeping pills says,
“Warning: May cause drowsiness
A container of underarm deodorant says,
“Caution: Do not spray in eyes”
A cartridge for a laser printer warns: “Do not eat toner”
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard
warns:
“Do not drive with sunshield in place”
A Bathroom Heater says:
“This product is not to be used in bathrooms”
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users:
“May irritate eyes”
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns:
“Caution - Risk of Fire”
A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax
as ear plugs or for any other function that involves in-
sertion into a body cavity.
*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*
Nothing rattles my father-in-law, especially when the St.
Louis Cardinals are on TV.
One day we were watching a game, when my mother-in-law
shrieked from the kitchen, “Jim, there’s a horsefly in
here!”
Not taking his eyes off the screen, he barked back,”Give
it some cough syrup.”
*************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
Tags: Clean Laffs, Jokes, SimCity 4, Vindication
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