I had quite an interesting date this weekend.
Good morning crew,
I had quite an interesting date this weekend. I had only
ever talked to her on the phone and was eager to meet her
in person. I was quite impressed when I finally did see her.
She was about seven and a half feet tall, flat head and a
slightly green complexion. But what really turned me on were
the bolts in her neck. What can I say, I’m into women with
piercings.
We met at a restaurant and things were going swimmingly
until I made the mistake of ordering Saganaki before
dinner. She was a little startled by the flambe and started
rampaging around the restaurant screaming things like, “Fire,
bad!”
Fortunately we were able to get out of there before the other
patrons could organize a torch-wielding mob.
Laugh it up,
Joe
***
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***
“According to ‘Consumer Research’ more people are drinking
soda for breakfast. It’s become the new orange juice. Maybe
in the trailer park where Yoo-hoo is the new champagne!”
–Jay Leno
***
“A chimp gave birth at a place called Chimp Haven in
Louisiana. Why is this unusual? All the male chimps in the
facility are given vasectomies. Maybe it was an immaculate
conception. How else can you explain the three wise chimps
who showed up?” –Jimmy Kimmel
***
“According to a new study that just came out, smoking pot
regularly does not lead to harder drugs. In fact the
study shows that smoking pot regularly does not lead to
doing much of anything.” –Conan O’Brien
————————————————————
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————————————————————
While driving through South Carolina, I kept having to slow
down for road repair crews. To keep the workers safe, the
highway department posted a series of signs that read, “Let
‘em work. Let ‘em live.”
On one of the signs an exasperated motorist had added, “Let
‘em finish!”
*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*
While working as a Navy nurse in a military hospital’s
emergency room, I was required to introduce myself by my
rank and full name. I usually refer to myself as Ensign
Mike Payne, but one busy day I rushed into a patient’s
room and blurted, “Hi, I’m Ensign Payne.”
“Hi,” the patient responded. “I’m in some pain too.”
***************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
Tags: Clean Laffs, Dating, Frankenstein, Jokes
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