Clean Laffs

Better safe than sorry.

Good morning crew,

It looks like rain this weekend. There are only a few week-
ends of potential sailing left and they’re being chewed up
by weddings and bad weather. And for the expense of keeping
that thing moored at Burnham (not to mention the monthly
expense of the boat itself) it’s like throwing money away
every time I don’t sail.

Plus, with old Mason on his honeymoon right now, I would have
to bring novices out with me, and having to turn around and
pack things up in a hurry 30 minutes ahead of a thunderstorm
while trying to explain every step to somebody who is un-
familiar with the procedures is not an adventure I am eager
to embark upon.

I’d better just stay home and stay safe…but I won’t like
it!

Laugh it up,

Joe

***

ODOR FREE & FRESH REFRIGERATOR BALLS
Easier and Less Expensive than GreenBags…

Retail Price: $9.99
Steal Price: $5.99
SAVE EVEN MORE: Get 2 Packages for $9.98

Keep your produce fresher, longer. Quit tossing away the
produce you just bought and toss one of these revolutionary
Refrigerator Balls into your refrigerators crisper.

WHY… As fruits and vegetables age they create gases that
cause them to spoil prematurely. Supermarkets and grocers
know this so they use potassium minerals to absorb these
gases in order to prolong the life of their produce and
now you can too.

These Refrigerator Balls contains a packet of potassium
minerals that absorb these produce-rotting gasses, so you
can keep your fruits and vegetables fresher, longer right
at home.

They’re Easier and Less Expensive than GreenBags! Package
contains 3 Fridge Balls. To order or get more info, visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/9u0i47
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/9u0i47“>
ODOR FREE & FRESH REFRIGERATOR BALLS</a>

***

“High gas prices leave a bad taste in people’s mouths, have
you noticed that? That’s mostly from the siphoning, but still
it’s a horror.” -Jay Leno

***

“This week in Texas, a fire broke out in a warehouse
destroying 2,000 pounds of marijuana. Officials say more than
60 firefighters and 2,000 college students responded to the
blaze.” -Conan O’Brien

***

“I get those maternal feelings sometimes, like when I’m lying
on the couch and can’t reach the remote, I think, ‘Boy, a kid
would be nice right now.’” –Kathleen Madigan

————————————————————
PRESIDENTIAL BLOOPERS DVD

Store Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99

I guess you could call this “the not so great moments of the
Presidents”!

If you think it’s funny when people fall down, it’s even
funnier when Presidents do it. This collection of
Presidential bloopers presents those rare instances where
the “leader of the free world” generally makes a fool of
himself.

From Gerald Ford to Bill Clinton it’s a piece of history that
will have you laughing.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/xw59h8
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/xw59h8“>
PRESIDENTIAL BLOOPERS DVD</a>
————————————————————

A property manager of single-family residence was showing a
unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions.
“Professionally employed?” he asked.

“We’re a military family,” the wife answered.

“Children?”

“Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve,” she answered proudly.

“Animals?”

“Oh, no,” she said earnestly. “They’re very well behaved.”

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

Helping me sort clothes into “save” and “give away” piles,
my six-year-old daughter came across a garter belt. “What’s
this?” she asked.

“It’s a garter belt,” I said. Seeing that meant nothing to
her, I added, “It’s for holding up stockings.”

“Ah,” she said, carefully placing it in the “save” pile,
“we’ll use it next Christmas Eve.”

Tags: Bad Weather, Clean Laffs, Jokes

This entry was posted on Friday, September 12th, 2008 at 8:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.