Good morning crew,
While we did go out sailing on Sunday I had completely
forgotten that it was the weekend of the Chicago Air and
Water Show. Burnham Harbor was packed solid, and I mean
solid. Despite the fact that I paid about a million dollars
for the privilege of keeping the boat there, I apparently
had no priority as far as parking is concerned. I had to
park two blocks away in an auxiliary parking lot for The
McCormick Place Convention Center.
Then we had to carry everything, including the inflatable
dingy, the paddles, the life vests, the tool kit, the
cooler and our various backpacks and personal items, all
the way back to the marina, across four lanes of traffic
and over a fence, no less!
And that was just the beginning of the adventure.
Everybody and their mother had their boat in the water
this weekend (the best way to see the air show is from the
water). There was a constant flow of traffic coming both
in and out of the harbor. Plus, old Mason was not there
on Sunday, and I had two people with me with little or no
boating experience.
It was nerve-wracking just paddling the dingy across the
harbor with two lanes of million-dollar cabin-cruisers
plowing down on us from opposite directions, but at least
the dingy is easy to handle.
Once we got to the Albatross we had to get her squared away
and motor out into traffic and back across the harbor to tie
off at the dock and load up the equipment and supplies. It
is a little more challenging maneuvering a 3,500 pound sail
boat!
As we approached the dock a well choreographed sequence of
events was supposed to have occurred involving lines being
tossed between the person on the boat and the person on
the dock, all the while I am expertly guiding the boat to a
gentle and perfectly perpendicular nudge against the dock.
Well, we nudged the dock all right, but in the confusion of
doing something new and unfamiliar the boat did not get tied
off and started to drift back out into on-coming traffic.
I had to make what I don’t my describing as a herculean
leap from the stern onto the dock with the stern line in my
teeth, pirate fashion (okay, it was in my hand).
I know it might not sound terribly exciting, but the pro-
spect of the boat floating away by itself across the crowded
marina had my heart in my throat.
Since I am writing this now and not in jail for reckless
endangerment I think you can assume how that little adventure
turned out.
Laugh it up,
Joe
***
BARK CONTROL COLLAR
Do yourself and your neighbors a favor…
Retail Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Bark Control Collar makes pet training easy. The high pitched
tones, inaudible to humans, reinforce commands and dramatically
reduce training time by omitting gentle but irritating negative
stimulus when the dog barks, thereby calming the action.
Bark Control Collar requires one 9V battery not included.
WHY YOU SHOULD GET IT:
- Train your dog away from annoying barking with this smart
electronic Bark Control Collar.
- It will teach your dog to stop Barking.
- Teaches your pet to break the barking habit without pain, shock
or needless Trauma.
- Safe, Humane and Effective.
Do yourself and your neighbors a favor and get the Bark Control
Collar today.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/vm6if4
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/505/l/vm6if4“>
BARK CONTROL COLLAR…</a>
***
“Iran is going to build an island just for women who want to
go on vacation. No men will be allowed on the island. Which
leads to the question, ‘If something goes wrong, whose fault
will it be?’” -Jay Leno
***
“Two teenage girls in Georgia robbed a bank. I have to say
one thing. It’s nice to see young women stealing money with-
out the help of divorce lawyers.” -Craig Ferguson
***
“Wal-Mart says it classifies its customers into three
groups: brand aspirationals, price sensitive affluents, and
value-price shoppers. Wal-Mart says the new categories will
replace the old customer classifications: teeth or no teeth.”
–Conan O’Brien
————————————————————
~* ~* ~* + NEARER MY GOD TO THEE + ~* ~* ~*
Start your day off right with a spiritually uplifting Bible
verse delivered each morning to your in-box. Play our Bible
Trivia game and achieve a deeper understanding of the Good
Book. Click here to subscribe, and of course it’s f-r-e-e.
http://www.gophercentral.com/welcome.fc?18191
<a href=”http://www.gophercentral.com/welcome.fc?18191“>
Join Bible Verses F-R-E-E</a>
————————————————————
As an instructional assistant for a public school, part
of my job involves teaching small groups of children. One
day I was in charge of some second-graders, who were con-
centrating on their artwork. As I reached across to help
a student, he remarked that something smelled good.
I was pleased that he noticed my perfume, until he held
a wide felt-tip pen up to his nose and said, “Yep. New
markers.”
[I can sympathize with this second-grader. I feel the same
way about felt-tip markers.]
*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*
We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical
audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled
diagnosis: “This man has pholenfrometry.”
Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she
double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the
tape, he shook his head.
“This man,” he said, translating for her, “has fallen from
a tree.”
************************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
.gif)
