Clean Laffs

Good morning crew,

Okay, folks, the big baseball party is tomorrow. I was facing
a bit of a dilemma because I don’t have a Cubs hat. For some
reason I have three Sox hats, I have a Black Hawks hat, a
FDNY hat, a straw boater and a cowboy hat…but what I do not
have is a Cubs hat.

I figured it wouldn’t matter, but my fellow editor Steve
cautioned me that if I was going to a Cubs game I had better
wear a Cubs hat. “They’ll lynch ya, boy!” he promised me in
a low tone.

So I guess I had better either prepare myself for a fight
tomorrow or go find myself a Cubs hat tonight. I guess not
winning a World Series for a century kind of makes the fans
touchy.

By the way…Monday is Labor Day and we’re taking the day off!
That means no Clean Laffs. But make sure to look for me again
on Tuesday. Hopefully I’ll have some good stories for you.

Laugh it up,

Joe 

                            ***

Glow In The Dark Door Knob Grippers (Set of 2)

Normal Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
Get Two Packs (4 grippers) for $4.98

You’ll always be able to find the door with these innovative
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In each package you get a set of 2 door knob grippers. Molded
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or elbow!

Their non-skid, cushiony texture gives a comfortable, pain-free
grip for anyone with arthritis, limited grasp or small hands.
But the feature that you may just love is that they glow-in-
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                            ***

“The inside word is that Obama went back and forth with Joe
Biden and Virginia Gov. Tim Kane. Ultimately, it came down
to a game of Barack-paper-scissors.” -Jimmy Kimmel

                            ***

“The air quality in New York is getting worse and worse. I
was walking thought Central Park during my lunch hour and,
honest to God, you could hear the birds coughing.”
 -Dave Letterman

                            ***

“Welcome to the historic Orpheum Theatre. When people ask me
how to get here, I tell them walk down to Market Street and
when you get scared, it’s another four blocks. When you get
stabbed, you know you’ve arrived.” -Conan O’Brien

————————————————————
7 LED ADJUSTABLE HEAD LAMP
Ideal for Hunting, Fishing, Camping, Hobbies & Much More…

Normal Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99

Put some light on the subject. With this headlamp you do that
handsfree, which allows you to tackle task at hand with both
hands. The 7-LED lamp has 3-illumination modes and a pivoting
light head so you can see what you need to see to get the
job done.

FEATURES:
- Bright 7-LED lamp
- Pivoting light head for those tough spots
- Adjustable strap for a snug fit
- 3 illumination modes
- 90 Day manufacturer warranty
- “AAA” batteries (3) Not Included

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————————————————————

A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild
winter, they had a bit of a problem with rodents in the
garage. So they bought one of those little sub-sonic mouse
repellants, the kind you plug in and they emit some kind
of sound that drives off mice. The husband was showing it
to their neighbor and explaining that it was an animal
repellant. He told her that it worked on every thing from
mice to elephants.

“Really!?” she said, “Mice to elephants, eh.” sounding a
bit skeptical.

“Yes,” he replied, seriously. “We’ve had it here for a
couple of weeks now and we haven’t had a single elephant
in the garage the whole time!”

*————– Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes —————*

It was a typically busy day at the bank. After a glance at
the line of waiting customers, a harried-looking man came
up to the side counter and demanded, “What do I have to do
to change the address on my account?”

Without missing a beat, the clerk replied, “Move.”

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END OF CLEAN LAFFS 
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.